so i saw Dr. Z last night... I see Dr. I instead of K next week (moving up in the alphabet). Were going to try some new meds to see if we can stop me cycling. I'm very much hoping that something works. I hope that they prescribe Topamax...ive heard good and bad about it...Ive heard that it makes you dopey- but in all honesty I think I could use some dopeyness in my life...as I dwell on things too much and carry them with me. I want to forget things. I really want to forget things.. not day to day stuff like Dr. appts or something...but I dont understand my driving need to control the environment to the point that I need to schedule my life in anywhere from 15 minute to 1 hour long blocks. *sigh*
I suppose its useful in that i at least get things done...but that doesnt help my mood or sense of accomplishment. I find no joy right now... and the impending 3 weeks of crazy stuff on the weekends and not being able to control my environment at home has got me in a tailspin. to top it off I have not lost any weight recently. I am not controlling that aspect of my life very well...if at all.
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