Anti-Social bug Disorder

Spiders can surf. I swear- Ive tried it.

I know that sounds weird..and ok maybe its not surfing as theyre clinging to that piece of TP while circling around to their eventual destruction at the bottom of the toilet flush. But I would feel that the last minutes of their life would be less exciting without the final song of "Surfin USA" while making that trip.

One of my therapists had mentioned that this is perhaps a little antisocial (as I mentioned rounding up bugs as a child and then putting a chinese firecracker into the box and blowing it up. I say its kid boredom (as does larry, since i was a little disturbed about it- post (ther)rapist session (thanks to S.S. for the new reference). Larry even asked me..who doesnt take magnifying glasses and cook ants when youre that age? I do remember that they actually had a science project at school where we went out and did that... Does that mean that my school was teaching me antisocial behavior (so nice to think that there is blame to be laid other places other than your own head). But truly my head is to blame. Ahhhh..check yer head.

thus the necessity for medication... it silences the chatter monkey somewhat (thanks again SS for the link and reference).

I do think I perhaps have it in for bugs. i dont like them. I garden, I dont kill bees, I like bees. I dont kill ladybugs (even though we used to have an infestation back in VA in our siding). Truth be known, i didnt save any ladybugs as they flew into our torchiere lamps. Im not going to sacrifice a finger for them mind you. the thoughts of those times really just bring back the overwhelming smell of cooked bug...cooked ladybug. Its rather foul.

I have a friend.. Cara (see pics below) that will shooo bugs out. she will escort them from her home. Ive contemplated telling her that shes killing micro-organisms with each step, but its too cruel. There has to be some optimism and idealism in the world. Sometimes I feel that I hang out with her to feed off of some of her buoyancy...as though its a chemical composition that my body doesnt produce naturally, and must be ingested verbally by me.

Her husband is not so kind to bugs. He has an electified lookin tennis raquet. Chris has even described how the later models of mobile bug-zappers are not as optimal as his due to the cross bar effect of the one that he has. Ahh the electric chair of the bug world.

I am the equivilent of the nuclear bomber or arsonist. I have been known to light bugs on fire before. Slugs and snails I dislike due to gardening fiascos. I reserve salt for them and also spray them with Windex if its available. It creates a nice chemical reaction. The salt would just dehydrate...thats too slow a death for me. I enjoy experimenting with Windex.
As I recall its NaCl + NaH4O2 or something like it. basically either chlorine gas and or Hydrogen gas is released. Very dangerous but- an interesting experiment based on quanititative effect.

Eh- well... I dont want to kill them cruelly but, I will kill them one way or another... and finding purpose or learning from it is always beneficial. Maybe not for the health or life of the bug, but for me. Maybe I learned too much from cooking ants with a magnifying glass...