Twister

I feel like the human pretzel right now.. or taffy. I am pulled and pushed and being manipulated in all directions and all i want to do is hide in a lump in a corner.

Were going through a transition at work. cutting over to new system. its terribly stressful. that and I have difficult customers....really difficult. Ones that ignore what i send them. Ones that try to escalate when they dont really have means or a relevant reason to. Technical Account managers that just come over and irritate you when they dont have a relevant reason to. All i gotta say is more indians, less chiefs. So many people want to quit now. Its a terrible time here.

I threw a temper tantrum today when i got to work. Im so tired of the same people with the same pushback criteria.

Enough. Its bad enough that nobody listens to me at daycare, at home, out in the world, customer service wise.

One of my coworkers put it this way...."you need to lower your expectations" basically he said that 80 percent of people out there are less intellegent than us and that they dont have the skills or dont want them. Dont assume people want to do their jobs....because 8 out of 10 times... they dont.

Oh and other ones treat me like Im a child. isnt there a happy medium? its hard enough feeling like you dont know crap about what you do. I feel like my skills are slowly being sapped away by the lifesucking leech of time.

im writing down what i eat today. and forevermore. It sounds a bit like Edgar Allen Poes the Raven. Nevermore...

Im torn at this objective. Its hard going with everything else. Its another stressor when I am breaking...broken. I am that tree limb that is broken, but hangs from some threads underneath. And the wind has started to blow....

I didnt sleep much last night. Some was the crazy dreams/nightmares...they werent really dreams or nightmares... what do you call something that looks like a technicolor spider web decending like a net on you in your pseudo-sleep. Of course I woke up when i shouted out to larry...do you see that??? and of course...he never woke up.

then an hour later Alyssa was afflicted with something in her sleep.... and woke up screaming for mama and yelling owww...so I ran in...then she said she wanted dada.

whatever.

who needs sleep. or caffiene or a life...or sanity. I may have all soon enough. An extended coma sounds appealing right now. I hear they have great effects on your weight loss! It may quiet my mind too.

I also have some attribution to some things i did...that I didnt do..or suggest. Its work...its political...its crazy. Who cares

Larrys busy again today. Hes always busy. Work always keeps him busy. I feel sometimes like i have the weight of the world on me because some things he wont do and others he doesnt like to do (so he wont do) and the rest he doesnt have time to do....so i have to pick up that slack. Im sure he feels the same about dropping off Alyssa for Daycare, but he made that bed.... its the only time i have to work out.

well back to the flogging we call work.